Through Her Eyes

Anxiety is the beginning stages of relationships. You struggle normally because you always seem to ruin something before it begins. It's staying up at night and tossing and turning because you wonder how someone feels. It's questioning if this is really something or if it is all in your head. Anxiety is being excited about a date but thinking they're going to cancel last minute. It's staring at your phone waiting for it to happen. It's every past relationship on repeat and hoping this one doesn't end the same way. It's an ending that emotionally destroys you. It's trying to handle it with grace and dignity but at the same time, you're in tears wondering when things changed, and where you went wrong. Anxiety tells you, "no, it's not that they were the wrong person, it's that you're flawed and not good enough." And you look at yourself, fixating on things you wish you could change because that's probably why it

I'm sorry. You had to learn from an early age what a broken heart feels like and what that exactly meant. And because you love just a little harder than everyone else, you felt the world stop spinning when you got your heart broken. You have so much love to give and you dive into relationships heart first. You are entirely committed from the start and are fiercely loyal. You give up so much, just to see the other person smile. But the secret is, you don't love too hard. You expect the same love that you give. And maybe the world is just too sad of a place to give out that kind of love, and you're just a blessing that somehow slipped through the cracks of heaven. You go through life giving so much, you quickly burn yourself out when you don't receive any of it back. And then you wonder if maybe you're just too hard to love. You wonder if you aren't meant to be with anyone. You wonder if no one out there can always make you feel the way you