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An Open Letter To The Child I Lost Along The Way

Dear Younger Me,

There are so many things I wish I could tell you. So many secrets to life to whisper in your ears. So many bad memories to protect you from to try and keep your innocence just a little while longer. I look back and wonder where I lost you and when I became wrapped up in this mess called life.

Some of my fondest memories come from you. From sneaking out of the house on the farm with the sole intent on crawling up into the the hay loft to spend endless hours with the kittens, to crawling under the cow fence to run through the meadow and be free. Life can be a tricky thing sometimes, but remembering these memories makes it a little easier to get through the hard days.

Sometimes I think if I could go back in time and tell you what I've learned along the way, maybe I could spare you a heartbreak or two, and save you from growing up too early. 

Yet the days without you inside me, it hurts just a little more. No longer do I sit down at the piano playing for hours just to hear the beautiful sound it makes. I no longer get excited to go to school, rather I find any excuse I can just so I don't have to interact with people I don't enjoy. If you were still here, you'd never hesitate or think twice about going up and befriending the person most people don't like. Christmas morning isn't filled with the same magic and cheerfulness as it once was. Being in a car used to be a way to go out and see the world, now it's just a motor on four wheels that takes me away from the drama around me.


Always find the joy in life. Always try and make the best of a not so great situation. Never forget that younger person inside of you, who would've loved to do something you might want to pass up. Adulthood will be here before you know it, so don't think you need to go and grow up faster than you already are.


Miss you always,
Your Older Self

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