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My Insecurities Will Not Define Me

To my marked up, overly pale, beautiful body,
You are never given enough credit or complimented enough for how incredibly beautiful you are. Every day, in front of the mirror, my eyes look at you in disgust. My eyes notice the stretch marks hidden under the waistband of my favorite jeans, the bumps that cover my arms, the rosy cheeks hidden under all the makeup and bulges of skin here and there.
While I shouldn't be ashamed of these features, years of torment and bullying from people have convinced me otherwise. I no longer embrace my body, because I've been taught that it isn't a body worth embracing.
Growing up I've always been more flawed than the other girls. It comes with the territory of having eczema and keratosis pilaris. Basically just two fancy terms for really awful, chronic skin diseases. People always noticed. I was that girl; the girl with the bleeding, sore patches of skin, the girl with the eyelids that barely opened from being so dry, the girl that always tried to hide her body.
Pinterest is full of workouts to create an hourglass figure or to help the butt stay rounder. There are diet pills and magazines promoting exercise that my eyes catch on my way through the store every week. Society has convinced me that the only way to feel sexy and confident, is if I have that perfect figure all the guys want. I've never been the girl to be noticed for my appearance, so after a while, I kind of just started to give up.
I am guilty of trying to make you better, but not in the right ways. But don't feel alone, I am sure everyone is guilty of disliking some part of their body as well. You are not as ugly as I have made you sound. I know I look at you with judgmental eyes and I pull at the areas of you I am not fond of, and I am sorry. Over time I have realized that society is attempting to tell women how they should look and just because I don't fall into what society wants, it doesn't make me ugly; instead, it makes society ugly.
You are everything to me. Without you I would not be who I am today or even look remotely the same. I would be a soul, fluttering around the universe with no body to care for. I am sorry that I have not cared enough for you. I am sorry that when I look at you I see disgust rather than beauty. I am sorry that I have starved you and also have fed you with too many sweets. I am sorry that I haven't been more thankful to have you or more confident in you. From now on I am going to try my hardest to see you for being beautiful.
You are what makes me, me.
It's time I start loving and accepting all the parts of you. 


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